What If The Tennis World Did Christmas Pantomime?
Locker Room
December 13, 2019
Christmas is almost here. Tennis is taking a well-earned rest and the pantomime season is upon us.
What if the biggest names in the tennis world were free to take part in your pantomime?
All the proceeds are going to charity.
So you want the biggest possible audience receipts. A week-long run at a top theatre in London’s world-famous West End.
You choose Cinderella. That’s logical. It’s the best-known pantomime. They even made it a film in Hollywood.
Which tennis stars would fill the theatre night after night and make it the biggest blockbuster pantomime hit of all time?
At WDH we have had a little festive fun with this. No offence to anyone we’ve chosen.
We’re much more used to putting people in the right places on Centre Court.
So please take this in the frivolous spirit intended. Here goes.
Cinderella. Naomi Osaka.
There is something perfectly vulnerable about Osaka. Yet she is always determined to get to the ball as well! Naomi has all the likeable innocence you need here for a starring role.
Prince Charming. Maria Sharapova.
Don’t forget this role is traditionally played by a woman in pantomime. So who has the dashing confidence and charisma to pull this one off? You solve a problem using a big name – Maria.
Buttons. Andy Murray.
This is the link-man. The funny guy who loves Cinderella but is only loved back as a friend. Well, we all know how funny and witty Andy can be, right? We think he could add pathos too.
First Ugly Sister. Roger Federer.
We know. He isn’t ugly. He isn’t a sister either. But this role is traditionally played by a man. Roger is certainly no villain in real life. Quite the opposite. That’s what makes this funny.
Second Ugly Sister. Rafael Nadal.
We all know Roger and Rafa get on. We can imagine them splitting their sides as they try to play female roles. Bad women at that. Will Nadal feel comfortable? No. All the better!
Wicked Stepmother. Novak Djokovic.
Be cool Novak fans. We just reckon you have to keep the Big Three together, right? Novak could look a little older with the right make-up. And we all know he has a great sense of humour.
Fairy Godmother. Serena Williams.
This character is all-powerful with a strong sense of justice. She makes sure everyone gets what they deserve in the end. She would be great making things right for Naomi – Cinders.
Dandini. Stefanos Tsitsipas.
Someone with Stef’s charisma could surely trade places with Prince Charming as the plot demands? Similar hair-length and height to Sharapova? Close enough to work. It’s on!
Major Domo. Ashleigh Barty.
A pompous palace courtier. Well, we all know Ashleigh is the least pompous celebrity in the entire world. That’s what could make it a giggle. And our Ash knows all about the court, right?
So that’s the casting done. Have we forgotten your favourite? Sorry. We can put them in the chorus and still give them a few lines!