Would Judy Murray Make It In Stand-Up Comedy?
Locker Room
March 19, 2020
Judy Murray never ceases to entertain.
After Andy Murray’s brilliant performance on Sport Relief, we asked whether the much-loved tennis star could switch to stand-up comedy instead if he wanted.
To everyone’s amusement, his mother Judy tweeted one very blunt word by way of reply:
“No.”
This made us wonder. Were we barking up the wrong tree?
Judy Murray is an inspirational coach and an important force in world tennis development.
But perhaps it is Judy who has a future career in comedy, not Andy?
Think Judy and you think “Deliciano.”
Think Judy and you also think “Duncan.”
She makes people laugh all the time. Including herself.
She once said: ‘When my kids ask me why I always laugh at my own jokes, I say because they’re funny.’
She’s not wrong. Usually.
But one gag did backfire at the start of this year.
The infamous mandarin pun.
And naturally, it was Andy who took full advantage.
Judy posted on Instagram ‘how to say hello in Mandarin.’
She had carefully arranged numerous specimens of the relevant fruit to make the word “hello.”
Unfortunately, Judy somehow cropped the “h” and the “o” out of the all-important photo she posted.
When he saw the error, Andy was merciless and hilarious in equal measure. He wrote:
‘Hi mum…you’ve done it again. Instagram is a visual platform so if you post a picture with half the content cut out it doesn’t work…you will get less likes and people will unfollow you (probably a wise decision on their part).
‘This just looks like a few mandarins scattered on a table…I wouldn’t want people to think you’re a mad old lady. Please try to do better. Love from your baby boy. x
PS. This is your final warning before I unfollow.’
There was probably no one on the planet who didn’t smile at that when they read it. Including Judy.
And of course, that wasn’t the first time Andy and Judy had pretended to fall out in the funniest way possible.
Which brings us back to Deliciano.
Or to give him his proper name, Feliciano Lopez. A great tennis player in his own right.
A man made even more famous by Judy Murray’s open enthusiasm – some might say unbridled passion – for the Spaniard’s physical beauty.
Knowing it would embarrass Andy and hilariously not caring one bit. That’s what made Judy’s crush so funny.
She began to drool over Feliciano’s form rather publicly. And we weren’t talking tennis form.
One time she tweeted: ‘It’s a Felifest at Wimbledon tmrw. Twice in one day. Too much. Way too much. Oooooooooh Deliciano…looking good out there. As always.’
Another time Judy told the comedian Jack Whitehall how a female German tennis player had tweeted her about Lopez to make her jealous.
Judy said the conversation went like this:
‘Guess who I’m playing mixed doubles with at Wimbledon?’
‘Oh no, not Feli?’
‘Yeah, would you like to coach us? We’ll give you five per cent of the prize money and a photo of Feli.’
‘I’d rather have five per cent of Feli,’ Judy replied
Superb!
Of course, Andy wasn’t thrilled about his mum’s fantasies. His mock outrage creased us all up too.
‘I think it’s about time she stopped all that nonsense. It’s making me throw up. It’s disgusting,’ he complained.
None of this banter prevented Andy and Feli from winning the Queen’s men’s doubles together last year.
So Judy’s open admiration for “Deliciano” on social media was clearly taken in the right spirit by all concerned.
It’s a comical dynamic between mother and son and one that we have all grown to love.
Andy berates Judy’s behaviour and often comes out with some of the funniest lines. Deep down it is all done with affection.
So is Andy actually the funnier of the two?
You could have argued that. But then came Duncan.
The unwanted Murray son.
That changed things.
True, much of the comic genius in this sketch is down to Chris Forbes, who plays Duncan.
He looks like a Murray brother. He almost talks like a Murray brother. He is wonderfully convincing.
Until he picks up a tennis racquet. And of course therein lies the joke.
But the humour wouldn’t work anything like as well without Judy and her commanding performance.
Her deadpan delivery, with just the tiniest hint of mischief in her eye, is perfect.
For all the world it looks like she is doing a genuine interview.
Judy explains why we don’t know Duncan as well as we know Andy or Jamie.
‘Well, people often ask me why I don’t speak about Duncan in the media. And then they meet him. And they understand why.’
Somehow she still keeps a straight face as she adds: ‘I don’t mind that he isn’t sporty. But is a little hand-eye coordination too much to ask for?’
And then, in her useless son’s defence she concludes rather sadly: ‘It’s not like he’s not talented. He just hasn’t found out what that talent is yet.’
They cut to Duncan struggling to return anything on court as Judy starts to lose patience: ‘Come on Duncan, it’s only a sponge ball.’
The sketch is so funny and seemingly so authentic that some people actually thought Duncan really existed after it was aired.
So which Murray could really make it in stand-up comedy? Andy or Judy?
Our response is simple. Why do we have to choose?
Picture this. “The Andy and Judy Stand-Up Show…with Special Guests…Feliciano Lopez…and Duncan Murray.”
Jamie Murray gate-crashes the night’s entertainment and storms the stage to claim that he is now the neglected son, being left out of show-biz because Duncan has stolen his limelight.
Would you buy a ticket for that kind of night? We would!